Sometimes I think I'm under
qualified for some positions, such as being asked to do an activity at
university or being made to help out with a friend's baby - daunting ideas that
I feel a little out of my depth with. But if there's one thing that I know about,
it’s boys.
I’ve managed to attain
quite the reputation with my ‘boy crazy’ ways infamously in my friend circle we
had the ‘you’re talking to 30 different guys?’ moment and the pattern of dating
people with 3 professions: Doctors, Footballers and Engineers. I’ve always
defended my ways in the sense that I am not in the slightest a maneater or
someone who is enticed by the idea of sleeping with strangers, so I don’t. With
the award winning combination of the vulnerability of my illness and the
naivety of my good nature, I optimistically allow men into my life who are
inevitably going to let me down.
Of course now – after
feeling gutted about these situations so often – I’ve manage to detach myself
romantically hence why I’m not interested in anyone at the moment, I’d much
rather appreciate my life alone unless my company is the best expenditure of my
time. But in these sad let downs that have happened to me too often, they
assume a pattern and I do see my friends get hit by the same situations in
their dating lives.
Today my friend had a date
planned with a boy who she had given so much of her time to, for months. He
seemed like a decent fella, but he gave off the alarming vibe that he didn’t
know what he was looking for and came across very hot and cold. He had made a
date with her and after days, he never told her a meeting place or time – and
although I know she should’ve just messaged and asked - she felt like she’d be
too much of a bother. Turns out, he never messaged. So up I step, bold me – the
best friend ever.
I spent today having
essentially a girls day of cocktails, cinema, pizza at the beach around sunset
and then even more cocktails and dancing. It was definitely a Sunday well
spent, and even though I wasn’t the initial plan for her – I know she enjoyed
herself, even if she kept checking her phone every two minutes to see if he had
messaged yet. I feel really good in the sense that I managed to cheer her up a
little and we went out and had a great day regardless of that guy screwing up
the date she was infatuated with the idea of.
You think it’s painful when
people let you down, and of course I agree that it’s completely soul destroying
to have your faith and respect splashed back on you like a bug on a windshield.
However, it’s so painful to watch the people around you that you love – feel that
pain and feel so let down. Of course I felt that it was my right of duty to
step in and try and salvage her Sunday, but it’s really sad to look at someone
and know that they are feeling exactly how you felt – which is just shocking coldness,
the butterflies yanked out your stomach with a hook kind of feeling.
I have a lot of friends of
whom all have different personalities and different lives. But I like being
useful enough to be an asset to their lives and be the one who saves the day. I
like to think I treat my friends very well, I’m always on the other end of the
phone and I would move heaven and earth for them all no matter what. It is a
funny thing that we all relate to pain, but it is a wonderful thing that if you
pick the right people to surround yourself with – you’ll never feel alone.
Make the effort with your
friends, it’s always worth it – and you’ll feel so much better about yourself
when you realize how useful your good nature is.