Friday, 21 August 2015

DAY 62

Tonight was fantastic.

I started out with a really bad day - full of feeling sorry for myself - and my boyfriend entirely turned it around. I don’t think I truly give him enough credit for his ability to cheer me up. He took me out for dinner, treated me to the cinema and bought me this gift I had really wanted for a while now – just to cheer me up. He’s always great, but I guess I didn’t realise how easily he could rescue me from feeling so sad.

Tomorrow I’ll be back in the city for Glasgow Gay Pride, it’s bound to be spectacular. I guess I’ve changed from sad to happy pretty quickly.

Today taught me a lot, something so important – don’t be afraid to let people in. When I am sad I try and deal with these emotions on my own and it’s almost impossible to heal. There’s so much that I can do to stay happy, but making myself happy is pretty difficult and I’m not scared to admit that. I mean, I can cheer myself up by so much but having the love and encouragement of another is really what gets me to the right mental place. Please lean on your friends and family – they are there to help you, you might feel like they don’t care or they have their own issues to deal with – but it would surprise you how prepared they are to support you.

I’ve done so much to ensure I don’t let negativity get to me – I have such a sanguine temperament. Although my episodes can alter my behaviour, it does not deter from the fact that I have a whole independent character and personality outwith my illness.

Your healing and your journey to your optimum happiness does not have to be a lonely one – sure there are things that you can do to elevate your mood, but nothing quite beats that loving feeling of company.

Even if you don’t feel very good there is no reason or productivity in lashing out at others, writing horrible things online or generally being a bad egg. If you treat everyone well, you’re in turn treating yourself well. Being polite and making others content can affect how you are – be the light you want to receive!

It’s hard being positive, as much as I apparently make it look ‘easy’ (I swear like a trooper off the internet!), you just have to say good things, do good things and you will eventually feel good. You put into the world what you get, make the effort with your friends and they’ll make the effort for you. Motivate and encourage each other, we can all be happy if we try it together!