DAY 44

Today was a simplistic, ordinary day consisting of Work, Puppy and Travel. Within those main roots I had socialisation with friends, interaction with my dad and tender talks with my boyfriend. I laughed a lot, smiled a ton and probably had times of huffing too! I feel almost like a normal girl again. My teenage years that were robbed from me still pain me. I lost several years of my life because of a 'disability'.

What we all need to remember is just how wonderful that we are all here today. Many people contemplate suicide and many people manage to take their own lives. For all of us that are here today... *raises a glass*. Life is difficult and for those with a heart-aching illness it seems impossible. You should cherish every moment because you are alive and breathing now. Forget what you felt before or how low you were, because what matters is that you're here now.

I'm going to give you what I call "Reasons To Stay", if you're ever feeling dangerously low... just remember these delicate moments that want you to stay.

You should stay here because of friendship. In this earth we are blessed with new life and saddened by death, an experience in which we console each other and remember our favourite memories. The family members we love, the family dog and our lovers - are friends. There are people in this world who have so much compassion for you, and if you feel like you don't: just look at your cat or your little cousin or your neighbour. A lot of people feel joy just because you exist, in the smile that a stranger gives you in the street - everywhere you have a friend. If you were to stand on top of the tallest building ready to jump, so many people would congregate to try and stop you. That's friendship. There is plenty of friendship to go around on this planet, don't miss it.

You should stay because you are incredible. Like I always say, envision all those tiny nerves, muscles and bones working in your body. The blood pumps all the way around your body, your lungs breathe for you - your whole body is rooting for your survival and wants you to stay! You are a remarkable creature. You can breathe, communicate, move, think and you can just BE here. Your presence in the room is incredible in itself, you have brought so many people joy through their lives from the moment you were born people have smiled for you... the midwife who delivered you, your first teacher and the person at your local store. You just being here creates so much happiness, without you  many people would lose their smile. Your being is just truly incredible.

You should stay because of nature. You are blessed to be in a beautiful world where birds fly and fish swim. You can run in the rain and feel the wind in your hair, you can swim in the ocean and climb tall trees. You can watch butterflies and count honey bees. My favourite experience is finding a ladybird. They are so vibrant and delicate, they inflict no pain but they create such a sense of hope. Here is this tiny creature appealing to you and trusting you to hold them, even though they are capable to fly away. This is the world you live in, can't you see how magical it is to be here? You don't need big things in your life to appreciate the art of living.

I would like you to stay because of human experience. Moments in your life pass so quickly, remember when you learned to ride a bike? Your first school disco, your first kiss, your first best friend, your first passion, your first teacher? There are millions of things you experience everyday which are so unique and personal to you, because it involves your train of thought not just your action. Not every experience is happy, infact most of your experiences now could be dreadful - but there is that possibility of it being happy. Why would you close the book when it's close to the turning point, the climax, the happy ending?  Don't you see that by ending your life you are closing the door to every piece of happiness you deserve? You might not think you need happiness or even you don't deserve it, but the people around you, the world and all the pieces that make up your body are appealing for your happiness. If you leave, you'll never know your potential. You'll never know what could've happened or the happiness that was right around the corner from you. Even if the odds were 0.00001%, if there's a chance of magic you should open your eyes to it.

I'm sorry if you feel like your life is so terrible that you can't bear to be here anymore, and I could try all day to convince you how remarkable you are... but none of us know how truly magical your fate and potential can be.

You should stay because great stories have a happy ending, but the best ones never end.

If anyone needs anyone to talk to you can reach me by twitter or follow the links at the right hand side. Have a beautiful Monday.